


Trauma

by Ujigasm



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Just get ready, M/M, Sad, idk what im supposed to do here, its sad as fuck, lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 15:03:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19153420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ujigasm/pseuds/Ujigasm
Summary: *TRIGGER WARNING*ABUSE/SEXUAL ASSAULT/DEATH/SUICIDE/MENTAL ILLNESSJihoon is certain there's something wrong with him.





	1. Chapter 1

Jihoon was walking to school. It had been a few years past his mother's death. The parts he couldn't remember were piecing back to him slowly. But it was still a blank hole in his mind.

He kept silent as he passed by a few more kids on their way to school. They easily ran in front of him and he flinched a bit.

"Jihoon!!! Jihoonie help me!!!!" A scream in the back of his head shook him and he stopped what he was doing.

His head whipped around to see where the voice was coming from. But it was just him and the cold autumn air and the blowing wind.

"PLEASE HELP JIHOON PLEASE!!!" The woman's scream made him flinch again. His hands start shaking as he held his backpack up on his back.

Suddenly, like a wave crashing over him he gasped and grabbed the fence to keep himself upwards.

Every memory of that night flooded back to him and he didn't know what to do.

His mother's screams filled his head as he tried to keep a straight face.

Where was he supposed to go? Home was alone. School was too crowded.

Without realizing it he started to pull his heavy and shaky limbs back to a pace, running to his house and feeling like he was going to collapse at any moment.

Words wouldn't form as he slammed the off white door to his house, falling against it and covering his ears.

Jihoon's eyes went to the dining table and it's like the screams got impossibly louder.

He saw his mother, fighting against the strong male who had everything against her. She grabbed the table and screamed for Jihoon to help her.

Jihoon tangled his fingers in his hair and curled up into a ball, shaking and sobbing.

"O-Oh god I-I'm sorry I'm s-so sorry.." He begged for it to all be over, his jacket covering over his eyes now as he felt himself fade in and out of consciousness.

 

Jihoon sat up when his eyes fluttered open. His backpack still wrapped around his shoulders and his jacket slipping off.

His eyes flicked to his watch, but it was around the same time as it was when he was walking down his street.

He was confused, but the silence and peacefulness was rewarding enough.

Jihoon had no idea what that was, but his usual numb and strong emotion was over him again. He felt normal once again.

He touched his soft hair and stood up, realizing he was cowering underneath the tall table that gave him such awful memories.

With shaky hands he gripped the counter, scanning the house for this father.

A chuckle made Jihoon jump, he looked back at the doorway to his own room and his dad was standing there.

"Shouldn't you be at school?" He asked, rubbing his forehead as Jihoon set his backpack on the table.

"I uh...Don't feel good." Jihoon responded. He guessed they were going to completely disregard that episode Jihoon had.

Without anymore words, Jihoon walked to his room and sat on the bed. Trying to understand what had just happened to him.


	2. 2

Jihoon was a serious person. As far as he knew, he had no mental illness. Nothing stemmed from that night his mother died. A logical reasoning for that is Jihoon never went to a therapist for it. He never told anyone.

He approached everything with reason. He kept to himself. Jihoon was sure if he had close friends they may be concerned for him, maybe they would be pushing him to go to a therapist for all the strange things he did.

But Jihoon was isolated. No one would notice. No one would care. He couldn't tell anyone anyways.

Jihoon was 6 years old when he witnessed it. His brother, two years younger than him, was there too.

He rarely spoke to his brother these days despite living under the same roof.

He rarely spoke to anyone.

Sometimes Jihoon couldn't remember the sound of his own voice.


	3. 3

TW 

Jihoon was sitting at the dining room table, finishing his homework. His small feet swinging from his chair and his pen tapping on the table.

His parents were fighting. What's new? They always fought. It seemed normal to Jihoon and Jiwoo anymore.

The yelling got closer and Jihoon glanced at his little brother who was watching cartoons on their tiny TV. 

He was shook back to reality as his mother slammed into the table, Jihoon yelped and jumped off to the ground.

"Stop it!!" She yelled at Jihoon's father. The young boy ran to Jiwoo and covered his ears.

Jihoon's eyes shut tight as the screaming and shouting continued, it wasn't so uncommon. So he tried to stay calm.

"The boys are watching!!" His mother shoved his arms, trying to look back at Jihoon and Jiwoo.

"Fuck them!!" 

After that, it was a bit of a blur.

Jiwoo sobbed as he crawled underneath the counter, Jihoon followed him.

"Close your eyes!" Jihoon warned, his brother was screaming and crying.

The older wrapped his arms tightly around Jiwoo, hiding his face in his neck and crying. The screams and protests rang in his ears as his father stabbed his mother over and over and over again.

"M-Mom!!" Jihoon sobbed, hearing her pleads for him but not knowing what he could do. Shaking in fear but frozen in place.

"J-Jihoonie!!" Jinwoo screamed on his shoulder, "Mommy!!!"

Jihoon shook his head vigorously and cried out, "S-Stop please!" he begged the monster that he called his father. 

Blood was coating the floor, Jihoon shook his head over and over again. He just wanted to be someone else.

His father's eyes met his, Jihoon was desperately trying to catch his breath. 

He was scared for this life. His hand held the back of Jiwoo's head.

Jihoon's father made a stern point. Enough to scare anyone, Jihoon was certain.

The young boy ran faster than he ever had to his room with no door. No privacy. Nowhere to hide. 

The two didn't know what to do. They wouldn't let go of each other.

The house was dead silent now.


	4. Chapter 4

Jihoon didn't get out of bed until the next morning. His head was pounding after what happened and he wasn't about to get shouted at by his father for not going to school that day. So hiding out in his room was a must.

The next morning he sat up and ran his fingers through his hair, deciding a shower might help him feel more normal.

The shower door creaked as it opened, and cold water spewed from the faucet. 

Jihoon yawned and got undressed, stepping in and shivering as the cold water ran down his face and back.

Cold showers aren't the most soothing, but they didn't have hot water. So what was he to do?

Jihoon's eyes trailed down the shower wall, beads of water dripped down down down.

Blood blood blood.

The young man coughed and shook his head, the blood disappeared and it was just water again.

"What is wrong with me.." He whispered, shutting his eyes and finishing his shower.

 

Jihoon walked out into the kitchen after getting dressed, he sat at the counter, not speaking a word.

"Ji hyung." The older looked over to Jiwoo who sat next to him. "Mmm." Jihoon nodded towards him, eating a spoonful of cereal.

It was silent for a moment, a crash made them both jump.

"Get the hell out of my kitchen." Their father yelled, Jiwoo quickly slipped his shoes on and left the house. He was always at a friend's house.

Jihoon just took another bite of his cereal. 

His father threw a bottle against the wall, making Jihoon flinch and sigh.

"Fuck you." He grumbled, it was silent for a moment. 

. . .

Jihoon's father threw him against the dining table, the chair tipped over and his bowl flew across the floor.

A gasp came from Jihoon's lips as his father pinned him against the counter.

"Jihoon please make him stop- STOP!!!" "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"

The raven haired male felt himself shudder and he ran out of the door, repressing a scream with his hand.

"J-Jiwoo! Woo!" He gasped out, running after his younger brother and grabbing his wrist.

"Hyung? What's wrong?!" Jihoon sobbed and hugged him tight, his legs giving out as he fell to his knees.

The younger ran his fingers through Jihoon's hair, trying to get him to speak.

"M-Mom.." Jihoon breathed out, shaking and hiding his face in Jiwoo's shoulder.

"Oh hyung.."


	5. 5

A sharp kick to the chest sent 12 year old Jihoon to the ground.

He gasped out for breath as his chest compressed, his eyes turning wide and staring up at his father.

"YOU COULD'VE RUINED ME." He shouted, his large hand wrapping around small Jihoon's throat.

The younger let out a strangled noise as he grabbed his father's wrist, fighting back and clawing into his wrist.

His father backhanded him, Jihoon let out a choked off scream, tugging against him and pushing himself further back against the wall.

Jihoon had told a friend that his father was the reason for the cuts on his cheek at school that morning. The friend went straight to Jihoon's father and told him.

Jihoon's vision started to spot as he gave up pushing, the hand unwrapped from his throat and another kick to his stomach sealed it.

The young boy slowly collapsed to the tile floor completely, trying to catch this breath.

Jihoon twisted the door knob and crawled out onto the porch, shaking his head and sitting outside in the cool air for a moment.

His stomach burned as he coughed out blood.

He was going to do it. He was going to tell. He was going to tell the neighbors every single thing his father h-

"Woah! Are you okay??" A loud voice asked, Jihoon turned his head a bit and saw a boy around his age standing over him.

"I-I..."

Do it do it do it do it.

Coward. Do it. Do it now Jihoon.

"Some kids b-beat me up pretty bad." He whispered, his heart shattering as those words left his lips.

"Come here- I'll clean you up." The voice sounded a bit more shy but his hand wrapped around Jihoon's and he pulled the young boy up to his feet.

That was the last chance Jihoon had gotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry lol this is published on wattpad and the italics actually show up and it makes more sense :/ they aren't on here. hmm. sorry if it ends up confusing


End file.
